Who Will Cry For The Little Boy?

I was just watching, Antwone Fisher, a really good movie... This is a poem by Antwone Fisher and used in the movie.


Who Will Cry For The Little Boy

Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?
Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own?
Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps.
Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man.
Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again.
Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?"

by Antwone Fisher


Gosh, I so relate to this poem...just wanted to share this will you all and be real.

K

burnt sacrifice

...imagine that you're a prostitute who's keeping a journal:

My pen is on fire
and these words I write
are the burnt sacrifice
placed at your alter every night.

Nightmares claim me as their concubine
their wicked fingers grope my dreams
as they whisper that they love me
I laugh at their inhumanity
cuz I know what true love is.

So what if I was bought and sold
to a brothel on the far side of the sea,
so what if death toys with my body?
I swear I never whored my soul
and still I give allegiance to the only truth I know
Certainly miracles are meant for me.

Every night I'm raped by despair,
yet fear will never impregnate me
I chant grandma's healing prayer
and worship til you take me
for a ride on the wings of dawn,
you lift me higher than the eye can see
Together we transcend reality.

You set me free.

El Espejo

The following is my first shot at short fictional writing, it was actually written about 3 months ago, and I was too timid to post it anywhere... It just seems like the right time now...

I have to WARN YOU there is PROFANITY and SENSITIVE ISSUES expressed, so you may want to stop right now.

Also, this is a composite of people, stories shared with me, my own personal issues, thought and simple FICTION. I had so much fun writing this.

Otherwise, welcome to El Espejo.....




El Espejo

As we walk up to each other, he smiles at me and with a twinkle in his eyes says something witty, though what I really notice is the sadness behind his eyes. Those eyes are piercing; they say so much and hid so much more.

Looking closely, I can tell he must have been reading before we walked up to each other, because I can see those small indentations around his nose from his recently acquired reading glasses he tries not to use; and never in public. Time is catching up to him.

His hair is slightly graying; more wrinkles cover his face; there seems to be less hair visible on his head; and he bares a few scars on him. Some of the scars are visible on his skin, others would only be found by knowing his life story or if you could look into his heart.

His body aches, his joints are stiffer, and when he sits too long in one position it hurts his hip. Time is catching up to him as his sight is weakening, and he doesn’t move like he did when he was in his twenties, in his thirties, or even a few years ago when he rounded forty. For sure, time is catching up with him and I see him take a big sigh, and again, I see the sadness behind his eyes.

Most people wouldn’t see what I’ve learned to see, in fact, most people thinks he’s always happy, positive, and there to stand strong for them. They don’t see what I see right now.

“Shit happens,” he gruffly chuckles, as he seems to know I am reading his eyes and his body language.

I can also see he is attempting to shrug off the tears and sadness he’s holding back.

I ask how is he doing, and he opens a small crack in the public shell he keeps polished by the front door.

He says, “I’m tired, that’s all.”

Again, he shrugs, as his eyes come up and looks right back at me, there’s something more, something deeper and darker… I just keep smiling and looking him in the face.

His eyes glance away from mine, and I hear him again, sigh and then shudder.

Looking back into my eyes, now his eyes seem softer and a feeling of brokenness comes over me as he says, “Man, I am really lonely.”

“I thought so,” I say as gently as I can.

“It’s not a new feeling, I’ve felt this way much of my life. I mean, I’ve put up with it, fought against it, tried to ignore it, tried even to accept it and even tried to die to it.

Now, crap, I’m just tired of feeling lonely. Please make it go away,” he says, as he looks right into my eyes, piercing my soul and I have to catch my breath before I reply.

I tell him, “I can help, but I can’t make it go away. I know God is with you.”

He slumps his shoulders a bit, “I know that, and I know God is with me, though you gotta admit it doesn’t take all the loneliness away. Come on, I can’t take God out to dinner; He doesn’t go swimming, or wanna call me up and ask me to go out somewhere. Even my ‘friends’ don’t call me like I need, I’m always the one who calls them, I make the effort to go see them. Otherwise, I’m home alone. You know that’s the truth.”

I’m speechless, as he continues.

“You know what I am talking about and even my best friend lives clear across the country and we only can talk on occasion. It’s not even that I think it’s unfair, duh, everyone has their own life to live, we each got responsibilities and priorities, I…I, ah heck, I just wish I was someone’s priority,” he says, nearly raising his voice, not in anger, but definitely frustrated and he’s hurting.

I say nothing, and just stand there before him.

“Look, people do call me, it is just that they usually call me when they want something FROM me, they don’t call because they simply WANT me. I’m a useful tool, a fucking resource to be tapped into….

I hear from two “friends” that preach about love and that we are Brothers-in-Christ, and a whole lot of other sweet sounding Christianese shit, but they only call when THEY need something; when it fits their schedule, and they call me when they want me to be THEIR sounding board; or some other crap. Shit, no one that really matters to me even remembered my FUCKING birthday! How is it that my co-workers remembered but my ‘friends’ didn’t,” saying this, it is clear he’s really wound up now.

He continues, “Love isn’t something that can be preached, it simply is or it isn’t there… You feel it and respond or you don’t feel it and don’t respond. I’m just saying it’s not something around me much...I am not personally loved. Corporately loved, appreciated by my church and my work, yeah. It is just that I don’t I feel special in anyone’s life. I don’t matter enough.

Heck, you can’t even do anything about it. I just wish I was like a rock in that Simon and Garfunkel song… no feelings, no emotions, no pain, no hurt.”

“Wow, that doesn’t sound good,” I say in all sincerity.

“He looks back at me and says, “Should it? What am I to do? Do I continue shelving my dreams and desires on a high shelf of my spirit because not wanting will be less painful? Is this something that I need to bury deep in my heart where it either kills a piece of my heart or where it lays painfully untreated, not addressed, like a cancer.

I’ve been doing that, I think that’s why I talking to you now. To bring it all up and out into the light and then discuss this with you and God is listening too. I am sure He will speak into this too, either directly or perhaps indirectly…either way, it requires me to grab it and be accountable to admitting these things.

You and I both have seen how some people seem to live off of low expectations and mediocrity so things don’t hurt so much…it’s not far to fall if you stay low, you know.”

He laughs as he goes on, “Most people accept their lot in life, and I’m not even sure that I can try to do that anymore. I’m hurting AND I’m hopeful. I’m impatient AND I’m trying to be still and wait…May I say that I am actively waiting? Oddly enough, there is this part of me that would rather dream, scream, and shout for these things to manifest in my life and should they not happen…heck, at least I tried. Or should I just keep my head down low?

There’s a worldly truth in the old Japanese saying, ‘the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.’ Well, I’m still sticking up, and I’m not sure if I should move or that I will be moved, instead.

Is change even possible, can we change God’s mind?

I still think I should try; I just don’t know how to, nor am I sure He’ll do that all for me” with that he becomes silent before me.

“Are you that depressed,” I ask.

“Depressed? No, just tired of feeling unloved; just tired of not feeling special to someone, tired that I don’t have the one big thing I feel I deserve…look at me, in my mid-forties, single, and barely making ends meet, I’m a fucking loser, just like my Dad, and that is something I vowed I didn’t want to happen….crap,” he shakes his head and shakes his fists towards me, yet, I it’s not at me.

With a moment to catch his breath and corral his thoughts he speaks, “I know a family of my own is so much on my heart, and I’m not blind to think that things would be all roses once I had a family. Come on, you know me well enough to know I have seen and heard all the difficulties. I simply want those problems, I want a wife to disagree with; to argue with; to have to discipline my kids; open myself to being hurt…I know I was meant for love, I do that good, I WANT TO BE LOVED! Do you get it?” he says somewhat controlled and yet, tears begin to form.
He looks right at me and says, “Don’t get all Bibled up on me; I just want to be real for a moment, to be human and share with you how I feel. Understand that I know God will never leave me, nor forsake me. I know He loves me and I love Him.

Okay, I also admit that I am impatient and for that matter there is no guarantee that I will ever have a family of my own to love. I missed that chapter and now I’m in my mid-forties. You know there is no way you can tell me what the future has in store for me and I am tired of well-meaning Christians spewing verses meant for the nation of Israel as if God was speaking to me. That is abusing Scripture and sure, there is truth in there. Don’t do a blanket toss from the Bible.” He stops talking and we just look at each other.

“There are other people who have it worse than you,” I say.

“Fuck you, is that supposed to make me feel better? No shit Sherlock, I mourn for them too, I mourn for those of my friends who hurt, I mourn for widows, orphans, divorcees’ and those, like me, who are lonely and unwed. You moron, it doesn’t change HOW I FEEL, now does it?” shaking his head at me, now definitely AT me, as he continues, “please, please, please, don’t now jump to the, ‘well maybe it’s God’s will for you,’ load of garbage either,” he takes a breath.

He continues, “God is God and God is good, He has never blessed a storm, he doesn’t make bad things happen, nor does He waste opportunities to reveal His love through the things in life. Hear me out, I am accountable for the choices I’ve made in my past; the things He has shown me to work on and that I am slow to do; and for the things I rejected. I even have to accept that the world is a mess and none of that is God’s will.
No, I’m not going to cop that on God.

I admit there are things in this world that simply suck. I think it sucks for a woman to lose her husband to cancer and now she has to raise two great kids alone. I think it sucks that diseases are not cured, or healed, or for that matter that disease even exists. Why little children should suffer? Don’t say it’s God’s will, because it is not. Even higher gas prices and the price of tea in China are to be blamed on God, no, nada, not. Look, we simply live in a fallen world and we have freewill.

Since the beginning of the earth and throughout today and beyond we’ve made choices and listened to voices that are not God’s. These come from within our own flesh, from the material world around us, and from the enemy of God.

Huh, I know this life I complain about is not God’s will, and I know He can and will use these things in the end to His purposes, but nah, He didn’t cause it, and I can man up to my fair share of mistakes, disobedience, choices, and freewill” he says with finality.

“I apologize for going for the “go to” canned answer earlier, you caught me off guard, and heck, I almost did say that it must be God’s will for you, I am so sorry,” I sheepishly admit.

“There, now you are being real, and I forgive you, thanks for that little bit” he says with even a little satisfaction and smirk.

I look right into his eyes and say, “I realize I have no answers for you, no one does, what I have to offer you is my ears to hear you, and a heart to stand here with you. I’ll also keep praying and keep asking God to grant the desires of your heart, without guarantees that everything will go your way on earth, okay?”

“Okay, that’s all I want, yes, prayers do help and I am sure whatever God’s plans for me are; those plans will be those that best fit His purposes… I submit to that, I just needed an ear to listen to me and to say, ‘yeah, that sucks.” He still looks right at me.

“Yeah, that sucks.” I chuckle.

“There it is. Look God’s equation of life and his level of mathematics’ is so huge and so beyond our comprehension that somehow disasters, horrors, pain, sorrow, suffering, unfulfilled dreams are mixed with laughter, joy, blessings, and fortunes to somehow come together for the good of the Kingdom of God, and I am not going to try to understand something I can’t. It’s a waste of time, and I doubt I am smart enough to even ask the right questions, let alone know any answers.

I am also sure God will answer me, to the level I can understand and only when I really need to understand it, Some things he holds to explain over time and it is that pace and length of time that my relationship with Him is getting real and better. I do trust God, and as I am human and frail, I get frustrated, no not at God, not even totally at me… just frustrated at the situation, condition, affects of whateva’ prevents me from what I want and from what I ‘feel” I deserve…that is even a loaded statement.

Look, I am going to try surrender the things that are beyond my comprehension and reach and to accept the things I do understand, and once in a while, I going to come to you and speak some new sad, crying-out to God kind of psalms to you, grieving over my life… David wrote a few and now I am.

Don’t misunderstand all of this, I think it is healthy to face this straight on and be real, even expose myself, I usually suck it up quite well and I am sure once we’re done here, I’ll go back to being that strong person for everyone else.” He says with a sense of closure and serenity even.

“I’m cool with that, and I too like counting on you. I’ll try to be a bit more sensitive to what’s going on in your heart and let’s check in again more often, okay?” I ask.

“Yes, thanks that would be good.” He says as he cracks a smile and turns away.

We both turn at the same time, and as I walk away, I take on last glance back at….the mirror (el espejo).

I Can't Make You Love Me

Bonnie Raitt wrote a marvelous song that has remained one of my favorite songs of all times, I Can't Make You Love Me. It is a great R&B song with such sad yet honest lyrics....

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Chorus:
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Chorus:
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I was hanging with a good friend last night and we got to talking about classic songs, classic times in our lives, and classic pain...

So today, I popped this song on after some contemplation of stuff going on in my life, or rather, stuff NOT going on in my life. Things lost, gained, changed, and coming forth.

I find it fun to look (hear) how the secular world talks of love and great things like that.

So, what if this song was from God to His bride--the Church? Our freewill can cause us to chose not to love Him. Our freewill can supersede His will and intentions for us...it has happened before. Our freewill can cause us to act like we are near Him and yet all we are really doing is patronizing Him.

Sure, this is not the perfect song to talk about the loss of our First Love...yet, pretty much has got me thinking about the times I got my mind and priorities all screwed up... missed the mark and pulled away from the God who loves me...yet, I have chosen at times to withhold from Him, love.

I'm in a place right now, that when I think of His love for me, I want to sing Natalie Merchant's, Kind and Generous to God:

La-La-La-La-La...

You've been so kind and generous, I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound,
I'm bound to thank you for it....

La-La-La-La-La...
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey...

You've been so kind and generous, I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound,
I'm bound to thank you for it....

La-La-La-La-La...

Oh,
I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave, the love and tenderness,

I wanna thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity,
the love and the honesty that you gave me
I want to thank you, show my gratitude, my love and my respect for you,
I wanna thank you

Oh I want to thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you

So, now here's the challenge...what song do you think of about Your love for God and what song do you think of about His love for you?
(No you can't use Christian songs for either question...unless you come up blank)

A Tall Tale..A Fiction of Course

Imagine you are the owner of a large widget company. You started out, just you making and selling widgets. They were the most excellent of widgets and people clamored for you to make more widgets. Soon your business began to grow and grow and grow. You started bringing other people on board to help you. They came with some skills, talents, and even passion for your widgets. They liked how you ran your company, your mastery of making widgets, and they took pride in working for you.

Over time, the work became more demanding and the initial thrill of working for the best widget company wore away. In its place came complaints that the widget design needed to be changed. Grumblings started that you didn't know what you were doing and that you were wrong. Your employees began to feel they were entitled to speak disrespectfully, call you at home, and even yell and slam the phone; hanging up mid-conversation.

What would you do with employees like that?

Would you pay them any longer; fire them?

Would you allow your own children to talk to you in such a disrespectful manner?

Would you want to be around a spouse that talks to that way?

If this behavior occurred in a court room, before a judge, what would happen?

If someone spoke this way to their teacher, what would happen?

Would they talk this way to themselves?

Would they speak this way to the face of God?

How would you feel if some people did this to you in just a week, a month, a year?

If knowing this kind of behavior, would you hire people like this?

Are these attributes that God blesses?

How would you feel if this behavior became the culture of the company and every employee felt they could violate common understandings of respect for those in authority over them; those in the lead.

How would a General respond to a Lieutenant who talked this way?

What makes an employee think they are entitled to speak in such a way?

The Bible says to work for people as if you were directly working for God. Do you think these employees have ever read or understood that passage?

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you ignore the important things of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things. Blind guides! You strain your water so you won't accidentally swallow a gnat; then you swallow a camel!

Now, none of these widget employees have ever been an owner of a company and not one of them have the talents, skills, or balls to ever try to manage more then their tiny little cubicles and yet they seem to be able to tell you, your faults, shortcomings and problems. They are ineffective in motivating others within their cubicles, they've done poorly at drawing in more employees or customers to enjoy your widgets, they whine and pout daily that things are so hard, and they seek first to complain. They seem to think they have the whole world figured out, yet their own cubicle is a mess.

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisees! First wash the inside of the cup, and then the outside will become clean, too."

They are simply taking liberties with you (liberties: a too free, too familiar, or impertinent action or attitude). Would you even want to listen to them?

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people's bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness."

There you are the lead person in the company, concerned for so many things, the widgets, the customers, AND the employees. In fact, you are so concerned about the well-being of the company and its affect on the community, you have decided to forgo receiving any compensation from the earnings of the company. You basically are the hardest working, most concerned, most passionate, and most compassionate VOLUNTEER there...and you find people pooping in your Cheerios. There are days where you look up and think, "shucks, I don't get paid enough for this crap."

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you build tombs for the prophets your ancestors killed and decorate the graves of the godly people your ancestors destroyed. Then you say, ‘We never would have joined them in killing the prophets."

Don't you wish people (I won't even say Christians...non-Christians seem to be nicer) would grant you liberty (freedom or release from slavery, imprisonment, captivity, or any other form of arbitrary control) instead of taking liberties with you?

Why do "Christians" treat non-believers better than they treat those they are close to, in ministry with, go to church with?

"Yes, how terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn him into twice the son of hell as you yourselves are."

It is a sad thing that the Bible says nothing about being respectful; showing love for one another; about being helpful; or any other silly notion of kindness, joy, peace, or self-control. Wait a minute, it DOES, in fact, it says plenty about it... It is time for some employees to ask for forgiveness. Unfortunately, I don't have time to write out the end of the story...Maybe the widget company will have to close its doors. Maybe the owner of the widget company will be crucified, or stoned to death. Maybe things will get better...

Thank goodness this is just a tall tale, a fiction of course.

Law of Undulation: Peaks and Troughs/Hills and Valleys

Having had such a radical upswing in the Holy Spirit’s move in my life over the past year, and especially in the past few short months; I and others are wondering how sustainable being “up on the mountain top” is in the long run. So these valleys, troughs, and lowlands are also a part of life.

Trying to think this through, I know there are times that feel like long dry seasons, with no end in sight. Then I pull back and look at things from God's eyes, and I realize they are milliseconds; just momentary pauses so to speak.

C.S. Lewis wrote of the law of undulation, and it could apply to what is going on with the move of the Holy Spirit, manifested evidence of the supernatural, dunimus-type power, and even the lack of one or more of those too...things do go up and down.

I also hold to God speaking through nature; it takes time for a seed to germinate, it takes a freeze for apples to be produced, and it takes harsh weather and struggle for grapes to produce the qualities to make a great wine. Seasons are there for a reason and every season serves a purpose.

Even within a season, there are undulations in the conditions and weather. Even within a season there are so many changes…

So I should not be surprised by change, undulation, dry spells, or huge downpours…enjoy them all and stand in awe of God through it all.

I continue to contend for more of the Holy Spirit in my life and in the life of the Church. I also am working on being settled into the palm of Our Lord, that He knows what He's doing, and I just need to be the person he wants me to be.

I remember hearing someone say, in my response to my question on how best to pray: It's not what you pray or how you pray that matters; it is WHO you are when you are praying that does matter. I'll take that and also apply it to spiritual gifts, ministry, supernatural encounters, and in relationships.... working on WHO I am...and helping, guiding and encouraging others in their walk too.

So, this law of undulation is actually a great workout…getting me spiritually buff! There are times when it is full-bore powerful, with supersets of spiritual exercise and outpourings… There are also times of rest, of refining some of the basics of Christian fitness or even mixing things up a bit so as to cause a bit of “spiritual muscle confusion” so that my spirit does not get used to doing things the same way all the time…hitting a plateau and hindering any further growth. My spirit also needs some rest—even active rest, to allow for healing, mending, and creation of more spiritual muscle packed with God’s dunimus power!

I know I am sort of all over the place on this blog, yet I don’t apologize. I think this is also an exercise in mixing things up and breaking down some of the walls and hindrances in my thinking and writing. How fun is that! I’ll be back up on the mountain soon enough… It’s just my hope, desire, and passion, to grab some more people to join me on the trek.

God Our High Place, ROCKS!

NOTE:
If you want to quickly read the Law of Undulation element...click this link to my earlier blog entry...Letter #8 from Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis) is near the end of the entry.

Tempt To Virtue

http://faithbrothers.blogspot.com/2008/10/tempt-to-virtue.html

Keiger

Consider It Pure Joy!

The Word of God says it all...James 1:2-4


Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.
Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.
But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.
AMP



Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
MSG



Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
NASB



Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
NLT



Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
NLTse




My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need.
NCV



My brothers and sisters, be very happy when you are tested in different ways. You know that such testing of your faith produces endurance. Endure until your testing is over. Then you will be mature and complete, and you won't need anything.
GWT



Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
TNIV



What is perseverance?

* Perseverance is commitment, hard work, patience, endurance.
* Perseverance is being able to bear difficulties calmly and without complaint.
* Perseverance is trying again and again.

Tempt To Virtue?

I have been struck by this quote from Rory and Wendy Alec, producers of God.tv:

"...the Lord said something to us some years ago - He said - When you hate sin because it HURTS ME - then it will lose its grip on you. When you hate sin because it displeases ME - its hold diminishes."

As I've written before, there is a prayer I say nearly everyday, "Lord, please teach me to hate the sins I currently love." And through time and culling of sinful, distasteful habits, behaviors, and thoughts I'm moving more towards the light and more Christlike in my life. Am I there yet? Not even close, yet further along then I was a year or more ago...each day--a step in the right direction. I think C.S. Lewis spoke of me when he wrote, "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased" (The Weight of Glory).

It drives me a bit crazy that I am so easily pleased and so vulnerable in certain aspects of my life and that I am not totally surrendering some of the sins I still love. I long for the day when the character of Jesus Christ will be fully formed in me and I will move consistently and completely in the gifting the Holy Spirit pours over my life. For now I can only mumble a portion of what Paul wrote, "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me" (1 Corinthians 15:10).

I am such an unfinished work of God, and working out my salvation...with fear and trembling; a total reverence for God. I must try to maintain those few areas of my life that have already been refined and cleansed by God and continue to tackle the many areas of my life that are still in need of serious attention and purging. It's not something I can do alone, no, I need God's strength, the Holy Spirit's counsel, and the prayers and sharpening of the Body of Christ... I need you.

I think the stuff God is revealing as dross up in me...and some day some to dross OUT of me is a bit painful...but it sure has my attention and it has me turning deep in my being to God. I like what C.S. Lewis said of this pain: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world" (The Problem of Pain). He sure has shouted to me of late.

I am surprised at how God uses me and takes such risks on me every day. I totally trip out how in my weakness He is strong...for I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God's amazing grace is truly amazing and He knows what I am made of and yet still uses me and allows His will to be done through my life. I ponder how many times I halted, hindered, detracted from His will being completed through me? How does my freewill play into the possibilities of God? Wow, that sure gets me thinking and wanting to work harder at hearing AND obeying Him.

Lastly, I find it truly amazing, yes, amazing that God enjoys seeing me try...and even fail, yet trying again... to follow Christ; to love God; heed the counsel of the Holy Spirit; and to choose God. Yeah, I'm not down on myself right now, though I am conscious of a need to press through on some things "sticking" to me and that I need to work on with God. I am seeking His joy even as I go through some internal hardships combined with some external struggles and unfulfilled desires...just like everyone else I suppose is too.

I just love letter 8 from Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. This a great book and this is my most favorite letter from it. The book is a great study via reverse theology, as one demon writes to his apprentice nephew about the life of a Christian.

I will leave you with this letter and I hope you will read it over a few times:

VIII

MY DEAR WORMWOOD,

So you "have great hopes that the patient's religious phase is dying away", have you? I always thought the Training College had gone to pieces since they put old Slubgob at the head of it, and now I am sure. Has no one ever told you about the law of Undulation?

Humans are amphibians—half spirit and half animal. (The Enemy's determination to produce such a revolting hybrid was one of the things that determined Our Father to withdraw his support from Him.) As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation—the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks. If you had watched your patient carefully you would have seen this undulation in every department of his life—his interest in his work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down. As long as he lives on earth periods of emotional and bodily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty. The dryness and dulness through which your patient is now going are not, as you fondly suppose, your workmanship; they are merely a natural phenomenon which will do us no good unless you make a good use of it.

To decide what the best use of it is, you must ask what use the Enemy wants to make of it, and then do the opposite. Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else. The reason is this. To us a human is primarily good; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself—creatures, whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which Our Father Below has drawn all other beings into himself: the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct.

And that is where the troughs come in. You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree He chooses and at any moment. But you now see that the Irresistible and the Indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of His scheme forbids Him to use. Merely to over-ride a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For His ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them, will not serve. He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot "tempt" to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger, than when a human, no longer desiring, but intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

But of course the troughs afford opportunities to our side also. Next week I will give you some hints on how to exploit them,

Your affectionate uncle
SCREWTAPE

Peace Out

I've been a bit quiet on the blogfront. I just haven't been in the mood to talk about what God's been doing in my life, mostly because I've been having a hard time discerning God's voice from mine. So stupid, huh? I doubt my giggly girly voice is anything like God's, and yet, the question that constantly pops up is: Is it him or is it me?

I'm beginning to sort things out, and I'm also realizing that my questions are too big to keep to myself. :P

This is my senior year at UH, and it's a pretty confusing time for my classmates and me; it's a time to make some pretty big choices. My decision:

I applied for the Peace Corps.

Whether I'm accepted or not is up to the Lord... I have my interview soon, and if that goes well, then a very comprehensive health examination that will take months to complete. So even though I don't know if I'll get into the program, I do know that it's what I really, really want.

I've been afraid to tell fellow Christians about this decision because I was afraid of being asked questions like: Why not do a mission? Why not join a Christian organization? Why not do something Spirit-led?

These were the questions I feared.

Sure, one day I'd like to go abroad for the sole purpose of spreading the gospel, but not now.

I just want to get away, go to another country, take on a humble yet important job, help people and even more, help myself. I want to remove myself from everything familiar to pray and contemplate in the unfamiliar . I want to get to know myself - my strengths, my weaknesses, and mostly, my limits. I want to be pushed and tested, and I want to come out with a clearer idea of who God's made me to be. Then I'll go back to school.

That's my plan. Doesn't sound very Christian, huh? I know, it's completely selfish (I want, I want, I want) -- too selfish for a Christian organization. That's just one of several reasons I actually like the fact that it's a government-run program.

But the funny thing is that the more I pray about it, the more I become convinced that God is supportive of what I want. I'm aware of how likely it is that my stubbornness is keeping me from hearing God in truth, but another part of me believes that no matter what, he won't abandon me. He'll never, ever let go.

Wherever the Peace Corps puts me (if I'm accepted) God is already there. It's just a different environment and capacity in which I can try my best to love others. At the very least, I have peace about that.

But still, I'm wrestling with bigger questions:

Is it better to wait until God tells you what action to take? Or do you propose an action to God?

Is it really possible to get past your own desires? I suppose everything's possible, but what kind of faith does that take?

And this whole "dying to yourself" thing -- does it mean that I should always put aside my desires? Does obedience involve fighting off every desire? Are all of my desires out of line with God's?

While I appreciate the fact that God doesn't operate within the constraints of a formula, sometimes I just wish I was a little better at figuring him out!

- kacie

The Joy of the LORD

Do we really understand this when we hear it; “the joy of the LORD”? I wonder how many times I’ve flipped it and mistakenly heard it as, “the joy of ME”. Seriously, I am so myopic in my view of life…after all, isn’t all about me?

If I am truly seeking the joy of the LORD, then I am seeking those things, those attitudes, those purposes, and those desires that give God joy…ohhh, that’s sure different, ain’t it. I mean, don’t we so often think that we were created for our pleasure, that our happiness and joy is what it is all about? We consider it pure joy when we get what we want and we act like spoiled little kids when my genie image of God is shattered; when He is silent to our tantrums, to our selfish desires, to our mean-spirited ambitions. Isn’t it wise to look after what we want in life…after all, it’s all about me, right?

I’d be afraid to ask God to tally up how many times I asked Him for silly, self-pleasing stuff versus how many times I asked Him about what I could do for Him…that would please Him? I shudder to see how lop-sided that would look…yikes.

For a time now, I’ve tried to start out my day, asking God what I could do today to please Him. I also ask at the end of my day, what things I did that DID please God. And YES, I just so happen to have it posted on my PDA each day to remind me. LOL.

So, when was the last time YOU asked God, “Lord, what pleases You? What will place a smile on Your face? What can I do for You, Abba, Father, Papa God?”

Hmmmm.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

To get the desires of your heart is to delight yourself in the LORD…to be in pursuit of the things that delight, please, bless the LORD. When that condition is met and matched than of course He will give you the desires of your heart. It’s because they become one and the same…they fit into His joy and it pleases him.

We need to understand that God takes pleasure in the things that interest us and that He is a loving Father that gives us good things…and those things must match His nature and His will and purposes for our lives.

It is important to look at God in relationship rather than just as the ultimate provider. I need to be in relationship with Him, to also seek His delight…the joy of MY Lord.

It is not a genie-in-a-bottle situation; it is a loving Father who truly knows what is best for us….and He does want to give us the desires of our hearts…. Don’t you want to do the same for Him?

Daddy, I want to give you the desires of Your heart. What can I do right now to place a smile on Your face and glint in Your eye?

“If Only” and “What If” Ramblings

I am processing some of the things I’ve been going through; the current sermon series on the Book of James; the comments and conversations with others; and from my own time in the Word. I guess you can say that this entry is the third installment, which started with “Obedience over Happiness” and following, “A Life worth Living.” Let’s see where this one takes us…

It got me really pondering my life when Jordan said, “you can let your trust in God change the way you see your circumstances, or you can let your circumstances change the way you trust God.” Yeah, how often do I listen to my own whining or the voices of the world and the enemy that displaces my trust in Papa? Wow, guilty as charged…

See, when I get caught up in the enemy’s ploy to get stuck in the “if only” and the “what if” cycle of worry, fantasy, and replay of my past or “wishful” future, I am not trusting God nor am I relying on true rooted, seated faith. I’m really second-guessing God. When I am second-guessing God I do not trust Him, nor do I really believe that God loves me, has only the best intentions AND plans for me… I just fell for the enemy’s scheme of half-believing God…doubting His Word and His love for me.

The enemy of God comes like a thief, like a lion, and steals, kills, and destroys… sometimes through the doubt-filled seeds of “if only” and “what if.”

I’m sure we could all fill in the blanks to “if only” and “what if”….

If only I had…; if only I could…; if only he had…; if only she would….

Then there is what if he could…; what if she had…; what if I would…

One thing to consider is how much of our frets, worries, and struggles are really small? I don’t doubt some of us have and will deal with MAJOR stuff, yet so often I get caught up in really small things or make them to be bigger than my God…displacing Him and my trust in Him, to this “monster-sized” issue. Really, most of us, especially Americans, are downright spoiled, materialistic, and have no clue what life beyond the shopping center and behind the TV is really like.

What would it be like to take one thing I am sucking on, pouting about, broken over; and take that to, let’s say, to a Darfur refugee camp or to a Veterans Administration paraplegic’s ward and tell them of my “pain”? How long would I be able to sit there as they share their woes with me, before I get uncomfortable with how small my stuff is?

I also believe that these two phrases take us out of the present. See, I really believe that God enjoys the present time with us more than He enjoys our habitual tendency to dwell on the past—our mistakes, our old pain, our regrets, our lost opportunities, and our lost relationships. Or this takes us out of a healthy reliance on God for today and places us on fantasizing on an alternative future, one that is shaped by our flesh and our listening to the world and the enemy.

I think that there is enough faith to cover our past, present, and our future. It is just that I wonder if we were to pour more of our efforts and attention to our PRESENT relationship with God…placing our faith squarely on Him, how would that look and how would that affect our lives? What if I really considered the ravines…and allowed a greater measure of faith for God to provide, to direct, to guide my life—today, I wonder how my life would change and how much burden (burden I keep putting on myself) would I surrender to God and allow Him to work in and through my life.

I’ve been praying that God will give me a “vista” from which to view life from. I desire to see things as He does, and to gain a better perspective on those things I think were/are huge only to see they are less important and “smaller” when looked from God’s vista.

I want to trust Papa as never before and to have the mindset of considering all things as pure joy… deep-seated, deep-rooted joy that is in God and from God. My Papa just happens to be the Creator of all Heaven and Earth! I’ll hold on lightly to my dreams and desires, keeping them in a loose and comfortable hand hold, and spend more energy, and effort in doing the will of my Father in Heaven, and of being joyfully obedient… and obedience is usually in conflict with my flesh and with the voice of the enemy. Seriously, obedience is hard. And good things are sometimes hard… I am okay with that.

I would even say I am more joyful. It’s a good place to be too! Those things I need to address in my life, I will do so with prayerful guidance by the Holy Spirit and those things that I do not have control over…I’ll give those totally over to Him and He’s got my back!

Well, you’ve just endured my “what if” and “if only” ramblings long enough. So, when I look at a situation or a “lost” opportunity in my life I will try to simply trust Papa God.

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VIP Tour of the USS George Washington

September 09, 2008

VIP Tour of the USS George Washington (CVN-73), Nuclear Aircraft Carrier
100 miles off Hawaii

Honorary "Tailhooker"
Completed an arrested landing aboard
USS George Washington (CVN73)
in the Grumman C-@a Greyhound
at 22.34 N Latitude, 158.30 W Longitude

What an incredible experience!

GOD BLESS OUR US NAVY!!!!!

Because Of Whom I Am Through Christ Jesus…

These statements also came from a book by Neil Anderson.

I hope you find these useful:

Because Of Whom I Am Through Christ Jesus…

Since I am in Christ, by the grace of God…I have been justified—completely forgiven and made righteous (Romans 5:1)

I died with Christ and died to the power of sin’s rule over my life
(Romans 6:1-6)

I am free forever from condemnation
(Romans 8:1)

I have been placed into Christ by God’s doing
(1 Corinthians 1:30)

I have received the Spirit of God into my life that I might know the things freely given to me by God
(1 Corinthians 2:12)

I have been given the mind of Christ
(1 Corinthians 2:16)

I have been bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God
(1 Corinthians 6:19, 20)

I have been established, anointed and sealed by God in Christ, and I have been given the Holy Spirit as a pledge guaranteeing my inheritance to come
(2 Corinthians 1:21; Ephesians 1:13, 14)

Since I have died, I no longer live for myself, but for Christ
(2 Corinthians 5:14, 15)

I have been made righteous
(2 Corinthians 5:21)

I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ; Christ lives in me. The life I am now living is Christ’s life
(Galatians 2:20)

I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing
(Ephesians 1:3)

I was chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and am without blame before Him
(Ephesians 1:4)

I was predestined—determined by God—to be adopted as God’s son/daughter
(Ephesians 1:5)

I have been made alive together with Christ
(Ephesians 2:5)

I have direct access to God through the Spirit
(Ephesians 2:18)

I may approach God with boldness, freedom, and with confidence
(Ephesians 3:12)

I have been rescued from the domain of satan’s rule and transferred to the Kingdom of Christ
Colossians 1:13)

I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. The debt against me has been canceled
(Colossians 1:14)

Christ Himself is in me
Colossians 1:27)

I am firmly rooted in Christ and am now being built in Him
(Colossians 2:7)

I have been spiritually circumcised. My old unregenerate nature has been removed
(Colossians 2:11)

I have been buried, raised, and made alive with Christ
(Colossians 2:12, 13)

I died with Christ and I have been raised up with Christ. My life is now hidden with Christ in God. Christ is now my life
(Colossians 3:1-4)

I have been given the spirit of power, love, and self-discipline
(2 Timothy 1:7)

I have been saved and set apart according to God’s doing
(2Timothy 1:9; Titus 3:5)

Because I am sanctified and am one with the Sanctifier, He is not ashamed to call me brother
(Hebrews 2:11)

I have the right to come boldly before the Throne of God, by which I am a partaker of God’s divine nature
(2 Peter 1:4)

Who Am I?

Here are some great reminders...these came from the author, Neil Anderson.

Who Am I?

I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life (John 15:1, 5)
I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave to righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
I am a son/daughter of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14, 15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing in His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple—a dwelling place—of God. His Spirit and His Life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the LORD and am one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
I am a member of Christ’s Body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18, 19)
I am a son/daughter of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26, 28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son/daughter of God (Galatians 4:6, 7)
I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
I am God’s workmanship—His handiwork—born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Ephesians 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:10)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Colossians 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
I am a son/daughter of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His Life (Hebrews 3:14)
I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:9, 10)
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am born of God, and the evil one—the devil—cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
I am not the great “I AM” (Exodus 3:14; John 8:24, 28, 58), but by the Grace of God, I am what I am (1 Corinthians 15:10)

A Life Worth Living

Life sure can be tough.

Life sure can be sad.

Life sure can be easy.

Life sure can be joyous.

Life sure can be.................. (You can fill it in)

Are this things exclusive or not?

Life is so amazing, so diverse, and so much like a wildflower patch, not a manicured garden with planned arrangements of flowers and plants in rows and such... God's arrangements are so different than what most of us would expect. If you haven't read the book yet, I suggest reading, The Shack.

My last blog entry, "Obedience Over Happiness" was written late the other night and it has opened some great dialogue within myself and between some very special friends of mine. This blog entry is a bit more deeper and a richer expounding on my life and views on the life God has called me to and it is a life VERY MUCH WORTH LIVING!

I realize I have a life that not too many people I know are called to. Like a pastor, a martyr, who has been called to have a heart of Christ's concerns. I recognize I will not always be happy (though there IS happiness in my life), and that this calling is not easy, not at all, I will be lonely in certain ways. It is, what it is... I will stand alone as a watchman in a tower does as he is lovingly concerned and protective for the people around him, and I will walk many miles alone through life simply because that is where He wants me to be... I love this position of intercession and intimacy and yet I don't get to share it often in the company of others.

More often than not, I look forward to what life will offer me each morning; the challenges, the lessons, the opportunities; and the risks. As I get out of bed, if I was overheard, you'd hear me say, "it's a great day to be alive!" If you knew my life story, you'd really understand how true that is for me and how that is not just an affirmation to set my attitude right for the day.... I really mean it.

I am most often joyful, even in the midst of tough times, and it is not just coating myself with Teflon or maintaining a suck it up" attitude, though there are definitely those moments too. Life is so wonderfully complex, and the bends and turns in life are across the spectrum of feelings, emotions and conditions. So, I absolutely agree that life is a life worth living and that we all should live that out in how we express ourselves to our inner self and how we share this life in Christ with others.

Moreover, I am meditating on putting those things to heart so that I hold a balanced understanding on the specific call on my life, representing God to others accurately and my life being one that encourages others to follow Him too. Especially since Jesus presents life with such great promise, hope, and love. The Holy Spirit brings fruit into our lives...what fruit; sorrow, sacrifice, pain, and sadness? No, it is the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and so much more! Life may contain some of those negative elements, yet it is the fruit of the Spirit that tastes so good...and it comes much through faith and obedience in the face of the tough stuff.

My life has been hard, even since birth and throughout my early life, I experienced different elements of pain and abuse, and it seems everything took more work and was just harder than others (and easier than others too, I am sure). Things still are way for me; I really have to work at things and nothing rarely comes easy for me....oddly, this is not a complaint, as much as, it is an understanding God uses these things to teach me and to even use these things to reach others. I don't point to my suffering and pain to lead others to Jesus, not at all, I speak of His relentless pursuit of us, His deep, rich love for us, and His sacrifice so that we may truly find life and life abundantly. It will be in the midst of suffering and pain God shows up and breaks through to our heart and reveals His love, His mercy, His grace, and His hand to lift us out of it all and into His marvelous life and light.

Yes, without a doubt, life is hard... ask someone living under Christian persecution; dealing with death; walking in utter poverty; trapped in abuse; or imprisoned by addictions and problems... God will show up in the midst of all that, and as Christians we are called to be obedient to Him; serving Him, worshipping Him; and responding to His call on our life over our happiness, even over our "life" itself.

Now, understand, I love life, and I love laughter, joy, happiness, and seeing the smiles on people's faces, and on my own face too. It's just that there has been and there is a weighty undercurrent in my life too... Life is full of poop at times and God uses those things to fertilize my heart's garden and as I walk closer to Him and as I am called into more spiritual warfare, I am finding the call of intercession can be hard and tough, I feel things and see the spiritual warfare side strongly.

Now, this intercessory side of me is new, within the last 2 years, so I am still trying to get a handle on it and understand what God is asking of me and who I am in Christ.

A friend commented, "Why can't we sacrifice everything for Him, work hard, be obedient...yet, it come through enjoyment, JOY (strength) and pleasure?" I love that, it echo's in my spirit and shouts, "YES!" Oh how so great a question and I do agree this is Papa God's desire, and sure, it is my life too... perhaps another way I could describe my life is that of a high altitude climber... it's tough; really tough, there is great sacrifice, danger, risks, and trials. I walk through deep valleys, over chasms, along dangerous cliffs and precipices, and along long thin pathways up a steep, slippery mountain. The mountain is high, the air is cold and thin, and the exposure to the elements are very real and "in your face" kind of reality. There is also a REALLY great view of the world from up there and a deep sense of purpose, enjoyment, accomplishment, and peace. Some of this is discovered while still on the mountain, some things are discovered after the climb is completed and one is reflecting on all God provided and revealed, both of the inner person, and of the life lived on the trek. As I may be a high altitude climber, where few others go, yet through the story that is my life, and the testimony of my lips, I actually encourage others to climb their own hills and perhaps ignite the love of God and the desire to seek higher mountains to climb for a few others.

I would never want to live as Francis of Asissi (though I have visited him on occasion) or any other stoic , and I don't want to raise/encourage any one else to do so either. I also know, again through my own life history, my own hearing from God, and through prophetic words from others that my life is a tough one... and while I am not alone in these sufferings, few are called to what I am called to. I have joy and joy abundantly and I sometimes get asked about my past and current "life"; if I could, would I want to change it? I laugh and say, "no, it has and does serve God well and all the pain and suffering is well worth it all, to be close to God and to be called into His work."

I think there are so many different styles of living, so varied are the seasons, and so many different characters in the Word and in church history because as you, I and everyone else moves through life, there are rich nuggets of truth found in the depths of Jeremiah's toil and suffering; understanding and wisdom in Joseph's life; blessings and reflections found in the life of David; and pure truth and love in Jesus. What a beautiful picture is painted and is being painted through our part in there too.

When I was writing the last blog entry I titled it "Obedience over Happiness." That was purposeful in that I knew it was NOT to be, "Obedience versus Happiness." These two words are not polar opposites or not compatible with each other. I was more attempting to say I chose to be obedient over my low level understanding of happiness and pain avoidance... Jesus was obedient, "even unto death on a cross". I also see Jesus as one very joyful man while on earth, people were drawn to Him out of His love and His joyful expressions of that love; and He is exalted above all others and is seated at the right hand of the Father.... and again, one point is I am surrendering WHAT I think is happiness (fleeting, ever-changing, and temporal) with the deeper understanding and acceptance of God's definition of happiness, through the joy of the Lord....what pleases Him.

I will continue to check on my focus and I will chew on the blessings of your words, comments and own life experiences and I will continue to do a heart check... I do value everyone's words, attitudes, and even gentle corrections of how I am seeing things and how I am expressing myself, both in and through my life as well as through my writings/blog. Thank you all, every much!

It's a great day to be alive and GOD ROCKS!

Obedience Over Happiness

I believe, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that God does not care about my happiness, as much as, He does care about my obedience. I also believe that I am drawing closer to God and that along with the intimacy I am discovering this all comes at a great cost to my “happiness.”

I'd be happy being successful in business, get my law degree, have a wife, have children, be looked up to in my work and in the eyes of the public.

I'd be happy with an easy life, going to nice clubs, drive a nice, expensive car, match all the things I see in the media and what all the marketing pushes on us all. Be a worldly successful man... huh.

Now, I know the world's version of happiness in not what I REALLY want...

A favorite Scripture of mine, and one that was spoken over me a couple of years ago, Jeremiah 20:9, But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

I really identify with this. Now that I am so committed to Him, it is so true. I can't stop doing His work. It overwhelms me, even at the cost of my own happiness. I am going through this refining process. Giving up my worldly desires, and dying to my flesh, and it is not easy...than again, things really worthwhile are usually not easy.

This is where I am and I could not imagine any other choice than to say, what Mary said, when the Angel of the Lord came to her in Luke 1:38, “I am the Lord's servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

What am I talking about? Well, I have been asked by God to give over and surrender many desires, passions, and dreams to him.

I recently read, Rees Howells: Intercessor, by Norman Grubb, and I identify so much with the sacrifices Rees made and what I believe God is asking of me now. His want of my obedience is difficult and painful. Yet, I know the price is worth surrendering everything to be close to the LORD.

Recently, someone prophetically told that I am to “move with the rhythm of His heart beat.” In meditating on this I came to realize that to hear His heart beat and to move in that rhythm, I am needing to be very close and intimate with God to pick the rhythm up... and it comes with a cost. Luke 12:48b says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

My life is about obedience and through my obedience I will be at peace and even be filled with a deep sense of true joy, as James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds...” and so much is written in the Word regarding obedience... this is an interesting life I am having. Please pray for me.

The Holy Ghost?

“It never dawned on me before that the Holy Ghost was a Person exactly like the Savior, and that He must come and dwell in flesh and blood. In fact, the Church knows more about the Savior, who was only on the earth thirty-three years, than the Holy Ghost who has been here two thousand years. I had only thought of Him as an Influence coming on meetings, and that was what most of us in the Revival thought. I had never seen that He must live in bodies, as the Savior lived in His on earth.”
Rees Howells
(Rees Howells: Intercessor, by Norman Grubb)

Submission

Oh how we struggle with submission. We struggle not only with doing it, we struggle with what it means; what it looks like. I am still trying to get a handle on it too… perhaps this blog is more for me than anyone else….

Let me explain how I see submission. This comes from one of my first pre-marital sessions I ever did for a couple I was going to officiate their wedding. We were meeting for the first time to even talk about what Scripture I was planning on using and when I got to Ephesians 5:22-33, I was asked what I thought submission meant.

I came up with the following illustration that I use during the pre-marital sessions and also during the ceremony, and I think this works beyond the relationship between husband and wife. I see this fits also how we are to fall into submission to God. I hope this clarifies some stuff for us.

Imagine a gold medal ice skating pair…. I always find it funny how most people will remember the name of the woman and we just don’t seem to remember or even watch the male partner. It is the beauty and demonstrated grace, skill, talent, and athletic prowess of the woman that we watch; in awe. Well, that is my understanding of submission.

The woman, in all her glory is in full submission of the man. She need not look around her to see if he is where he needs to be; to hold her hand; to spin her around to set-up the next maneuver; to lift her up; to toss high into the air; and to catch her. The whole time she is submitting herself to his leadership and his leadership is solely focused and revealing to the world all her beauty and her grace…to ensure her very best is released and enjoyed.

She finds great joy, pleasure, and success in her own submission to his leadership, his strength, his support, and in turn they both win the prize…

So, when I submit to the LORD, it is not how the world thinks of submission. It is NOT a win/lose situation. It is NOT painful, or at least not intended to be…unless I am fighting against it. It is NOT something that makes me “tap-out.” I realize that God is GOOD, his will and plans for my life ROCK! It is up to me to willingly submit to His leadership and He will reveal all the beauty, grace, and joy that I can realize as a man…as His child.

Well, what do you think?

The Lost Art of Stillness

I recently was flying interisland and had to suffer from the effects of a person who did not have the art of stillness. I had noticed this woman while waiting for the boarding process to begin. She just couldn't be quiet. Okay, more accurately, she couldn't shut up! If there was a person even near her she would start a conversation; albeit one-sided for the most part. On the plane it turns out she is sitting behind me, first talking to the flight attendant stationed there, and he quickly moved away.

She then began to talk to herself and also (for my pleasure, I am sure) began a nervous habit of kicking the seat in front of her... my seat.

As the plane fills she then begins to talk to the people next to her and despite their obvious desire just to relax, she continued to talk, asking questions of them, only to interrupt them so she could talk even more, all the while, kicking the seat in front of her. I finally finished counting to 1,000 and turned around, and did actually ask nicely for her to stop kicking my seat.

There was a peaceful silence after that. It actually lasted a full fifteen seconds... that was one of the longest flights I have ever had to endure interisland.

Here are some great scripture to consider:

Psalm 46:10-11 [10] “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
[11] The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Nehemiah 8:11 The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve.”

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.


It is interesting to note that perhaps a more direct Hebrew translation for 'be still' is 'enough' or 'be quiet.' Or if I was translating it.... SHUT UP!

In western culture we just don't seem to like things to be quiet, except in an elevator. Otherwise, we call it, "an awkward silence." We just don't seem capable of relaxing and enjoying the simple art of stillness; of being silent.

Now, this has such a negative effect on our walk with God....it's like I am always jabbering away, telling God this and that... He simply wants to tell me things; important things and I just keep yakking away.

Be still, enough, be quiet, Keiger, so that I can tell you the things you need to know.... Be still and just relax, and quit kicking my chair because you are anxious, fearful, impatient, and restless.

When Jesus was aboard the boat in the storm, Jesus says, Quiet! Be still." Isn't that what we should all be saying when the storms of life come our way?

In gaining an understanding of the art of stillness, we need to learn to rest, to be at peace, and to trust. It is interesting to look at Isaiah 40:31, depending on the translation, the one word that is interchanged is "wait." It can also be translated as trust, hope, and of course, as wait. The Hebrew word is actually "qavah"; a prim. root; to wait for:—eagerly waits, expect, expected, hope, hoped, hopefully wait, hoping, look, look eagerly, looked, wait, waited, waited for you eagerly, waited patiently.

In regaining a place of stillness, that is where we will be able to discern the gentle whisper the Lord. Again, some translations call it the "still small voice" of God...even "quiet, gentle voice." If we aren't still, we surely will miss His speaking to us. I don't want to miss it anymore.

Once, a dear friend of mine prophetically spoke, saying, "God seems to love speaking to you when you are vulnerable and soft to Him. Does that mean anything to you?"

I laughed, because this was spoken near the beginning of a period of over four months that God was awakening me at 3:00 AM every day. He was speaking volumes to me during that time, having me praying, interceding and conversing with me in my thoughts...a very powerful time, that He still occasionally awakens me to this day. It was probably when I literally in a place of abiding in stillness (actually in deep sleep, LOL) that He could get a word in.

I know there are a few of us who could learn much from the lost art of stillness.... go on some kind of retreat, fast, or extended prayer time...including listening prayer time, and ask God to take you into the place of abiding in stillness before Him.

Oh yeah, and let us all know how is goes, and what you learn and what insight you gain....


GOD ROCKS!


Keiger

Recalibration Time and the Ask Fast

Recalibration Time:
Oswald Chambers wrote, “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.” Oswald also stated, “It is never ‘Do, do’ with the Lord, but ‘Be, be’ and He will ‘do’ through you.”

Hmm, that has opened up a line of thought I had pondered in the past… and that is that as Christians and as Children of God we were created to be FIRST worshippers of God. In all things, it is our relationship with God and His Glory!

How often do I focus on my needs and on the needs of other people as among the first things I grab onto, rather than clinging to the simple fact it is my relationship with God that matters most. Out of this placement of God in the center of ALL that I do; will there be ministry to others and ministry to myself.

So many places within Scripture we find the call to worship the Lord; to love the Lord; and to fear the Lord… we were created for God’s pleasure and for His enjoyment (Col.1:16). I have felt for sometime now, a call for all of us to really worship God; to place this as prime importance for our community. I want us to be known as worshipers of God.

Out of this heart of worship and out of recalibrating and re-centering God as the core of who we are, we will come to the place where we abide with God and He truly lives His life in our bodies. From out of this place of abiding will come an increase of unction for ministry and we will see more manifested evidence of God’s great and powerful measure of healing, deliverance, provision, and even more!

It is our relationship with our Papa that matters most and it is what He wants most of all…relationship, personal, daily, without ceasing, intimate, reverent, and sacrificial.

While all the other things that come out of this place are awesome, wonderful, and needed, again, it is our RELATIONSHIP that counts eternally…

I believe the heart of worship is what pleases God most, and it is the place I am seeking to abide in, and I hope others will join me in trying to understand this more.

The Ask Fast:
For the time being, I am going to try something very different for me. I am going to go on a “ask fast.” This is where I am going to refrain from asking God for anything. I’m not going to ask for things I need myself, or the needs of others. I am only going worship and praise the LORD! Declare His names, characteristics, and titles, sing worship songs, and speak of His wonder, beauty and holiness.

When a desire to intercede for someone or some situation, I will only state the name or situation before God and then WORSHIP… recalibrating my heart to who He is that I am praying to and realigning my heart into worship, submission, surrender, and reliance upon our Holy God. He is to be in the center of all I do. He is not to be a priority; He is to be my all in all. My LORD God Almighty, and worthy to be praised!

I’m curious to get YOUR thoughts on this…

Reflections on the Mia Fast

As the Mia Fast now passes the two week mark (this is not a boast, just facts) there have been some interesting comments and reflections we are discovering that I'd like to share with you all, as well as invite more comments, reflections, and thoughts...

1) This type of fast is harder than a complete fast. This may be due to the fact it is a "thinking" fast. You have to ask questions, read labels, plan out meals, explain to waiters, cooks, etc. There is even some research and collaboration to really know what is in that bag of snacks, in that deli meat, what's really hiding in that beer (darn gluten's are everywhere!).

2) There is an interesting and special bond forming amongst the fast-ers. We relate to each other and get to share in the blessing of doing this for the Winands.

3) I believe the blessings God is going to bestow on Mia, Levi, Remle, and the fast-ers will far exceed the sacrifices made during the prayer and fast.

4) While we can slip up, forget, slid some forbidden foods; Mia can't as her risks and dangers are REAL!

5) A strong sense of commitment, determination and pressing into God is occurring with several of us.... That this is something life changing for the Winands and we want that for them.

6) That this is growing roots and fruit spiritually for the whole community of Christians that we are a part of (regardless of "church" affiliation).

7) That we ain't seen nothing yet! MORE GOD, MORE! Our prayers are reaching heaven and God is moving in this area of prayer, intercession, and with His awesome healing power, grace, mercy, and favor!!!!!!


GOD ROCKS!


KLB

What's The Diff?

Hmm, I found this interesting WORD, from the book, "Rees Howells: Intercessor," by Norman Grubb (GREAT BOOK and I so recommend it!).

" We were a people who had left all to follow the Savior, and had forsaken all we had of this world's goods to enter a life of faith, and as far as we knew we had surrendered our lives entirely to the One who died for us. But He showed us,'There is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in My hands, and Me living My life in your body.'

"We read the Acts afresh and found we were reading not the acts of the Apostles, but the acts of the Holy Ghost. The bodies of Peter and the others had become His temples. The Holy Ghost as a divine Person lived in the bodies of the apostles, even as the Savior had lived His earthly life in the body that was born in Bethlehem. And all that the Holy Spirit asked of us was our wills and our bodies."

Now, I can't yet get my arms around that difference in my spirit... imagine what it REALLY looks like for God to be living His life in your body... and how that is completely different from being surrendered to Him... That is a huge depth!

I need to hear it again:
'There is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in My hands, and Me living My life in your body.'

Can you capture the depth of this? Can you define this for us?

Can you paint this so we can see this for what it REALLY is?

'There is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in My hands, and Me living My life in your body.'

Wonderful stuff, what little I understand is that this so much more than surrendering, that is God living His life in the new ark of the covenant...His living temples, His living sacrifices, His chosen people, His dwelling place... YOU and ME!

What an incredible reality He offers us; to be so full of God--this consuming fire, that as He takes possession of us, that same consuming fire will burn off all that is of us...of worldly flesh. Amazing place to be. So intimate with God that He truly is living His life in our bodies... am I game for it?

I have been writing down in my heart and mind all the things "I" want to do, and all the things "I" think I deserve...man, I got some stuff to take out back and let the consuming fire torch off me... yikes!

Here I am serving God and He's really saying that He wants me to be a living sacrifice... it is not about service....sure, it's good stuff, yet He wants GOD stuff!

Chew on this one more time:
'There is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in My hands, and Me living My life in your body.'

So, here's where I need and ask for YOUR help... Give me some Scriptures that relate to this deep, intimate indwelling of God in us...

What if this was you?

You go out to hang with your friends and they each have to wash their hands before they touch you because they may have touched something that will cause you hives or escema.

You are always wondering what byproducts are in processed foods, candy, and meals; taking it very serious if the label warns it was made in the presence of nuts.

You go out to dinner and you worry the chef may have added a dairy product to the meal, which could cause your daughter to fall into a life-threatening allergic reaction; anaphylactic shock.

If you think these three little scenarios are tough...imagine what it must be like for little Mia Winand and what Remle must contend with on a daily basis for her daughter.

Well, I say enough is enough. People, it is time to spend some serious knee time for these allergies to be broken off Mia Winand.

I invite you AND challenge you to take part in an intercessory prayer and fast called, the Mia Fast.

Let's fast from all the foods and items that Mia Winand must stay away from.

Try it one day; one day a week; everyday for a month; or even try everyday until Mia is completely set free...it's up to you... and your prayers matter.

Currently, a growing number of us are committed to start the Mia Fast, this Monday, July 20, 2008. We say, “bring it on,” and we ask that you too will consider making a commitment in some fashion for Mia's sake.

If you are game, please reply on the blog so that we can help encourage each other, hold each other accountable, and show Mia that we are wanting her to be SET FREE!!!!!!

Join the Mia Fast!

LIST OF BANNED FOODS and ITEMS:
wheat
gluten (from wheat, rye, barley)
eggs
all nuts
all dairy products
beef
oats
soy and soy products
dust mites

**The biggest and most scariest for Mia are dairy, eggs and nuts. Her reactions range from hives with contact, eczema and anaphylactic shock with ingestion.

Don't worry, this fast won't cause you to become a vegan or vegitarian...and it may make you more like Daniel of Biblical fame.... or even more like Jordan Seng.



* UPDATE 7/18/08 *

Glutens are sneaky little buggers! They hid in lots of food:

Gluten can be found in the coating of rice and rice products.

Most beer has either barley and/or gluten and/or gluten byproducts that are NOT removed in the brewing process. So BEER goes on the forbidden list.

Where Are All The Men?

I find it oddly interesting that there are very few men involved in intercession, spiritual warfare , and prayer meetings. Why is that?

I am so tired of coming together for prayer to see majority of the people are women; where are the men?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate all the prayers of all the women I gather with... I just wish more men would get off their arse and show up to pray too.

I read in the Word that spiritual warfare...is WARFARE...a call to arms and a call to muster in FORCE and yet, what would seemingly be a male, masculine, endeavour is populated by women... WHAT THE HECK!

The Bible is full of prayerful men, as prophets, intercessors, healers, etc and yet look around the church and most of the prayer and spiritual warfare is done by women, what a contrast!

PRAISE GOD for the women who are protecting, defending, and even advancing the Church...where are all the men?

How is prayer viewed by the average man? Is it more about men are generally lazy; too busy; don't see the value?

With all the color, drama, and imagery of prayer being a battle, to fight, and such, I have always wondered why the prayer pews, benches, knee boards, prayer closets, and meeting space is filled with so many women: grandma's, wives, young women....huh?

Do YOU have any suggestions as to how to get more men down on their knees in battle?

Do YOU have any other thoughts?

Angelic Prayer Time at Ala Moana

This is an excerpt from a posting I placed on our prayer team page last night. Keiger left just a few moments too soon. . .

Tonight we met to pray at Ala Moana. It was an incredible night.
There is so much I could say, but I will work to keep it at least
somewhat brief.

(I deleted a number of cool prayer encounters. They were powerful, but the rest of the story contains the strange.)

Keiger left, but Michelle, Malia, and I decided to walk around
Magic Island. We just weren't finished. We got a sense that
something might be happening at the very end of the island. The
picture was of a man on the rocks, so we headed that way to see what
might be there. We sat down to watch the powerful waves crash against
the wall and finally identified the man we felt we were supposed to be
praying for. He was sitting alone on the wall. Even from a distance,
his burden was pretty easy to see. We began to pray. The waves were
crashing so loudly that most of the time we could not even hear one
another, but we prayed together, just the same. At one point, I laid
back and rested my head on the ground and closed my eyes. When I
opened my eyes, I saw that the man was no longer alone. Someone was
standing behind him, bent over with his hand on the man's back. The
person was dressed in white. I asked the others, "Hey, do you guys
see two people over there now?" Malia and Michelle both answered in
the affirmative.

We all seemed to feel a release, as if our prayers for comfort had
been answered. As Michelle put it, "I felt like we were keeping guard
over him, but when his friend came, we no longer needed to." We
started to get up and noticed that he, too, was standing up. As he
turned to walk away, Michelle said something like, "We did just all
see someone, right?" At that moment it clicked for me that the man
was walking away alone. There was no one else there. The 2nd person
had literally disappeared.

I quickly rushed toward where he had been sitting to see if I could
find the other person. There was no one there. I had to know what
had just happened, so I caught up with the man and asked, "Have you
been alone the whole time?"

He answered, "Yes," but looked a bit troubled. "Why? Did you see
someone else with me? That can't be good."

I quickly assured him that I didn't think we saw anything bad.
"Whoever it was was dressed in white." I responded.

"White is good. My auntie said dark is bad," was his thoughtful
reply. "Maybe I really do have a guardian angel."

Bold Michelle took that opportunity to ask the man if we could pray a
blessing over him, and then she led us in that blessing. The man was
overcome and clearly moved by the experience. He repeatedly stated
his hope that we would meet again. Now that I think about it, we
could have invited him to church. The thought did not occur to me
then. I was too busy trying to come to terms with the fact that we
had all just seen an angel. Not in shadow, now on a camera, not in a
vision, but in a very concrete, compassionate form. Wow.

Prayer "Retreat" Starts Fire

Subheadings could be . . .

Quiet University Counselor becomes Dragon Slayer
The Unsuspecting Begin to Dance
Self Proclaimed Non-Prophet Accurately Prophesies Over Many

Keiger asked me to write a bit about the prayer retreat we had this weekend. It was quite an amazing time. Friday night involved a lot of head knowledge. I am not sure how much anyone else took from the Intercession teaching, but God has been bringing thoughts of choosing joy in trials and searching for ways to bear each others burdens to my mind since then. Today, I certainly had the opportunity to choose joy in the midst of unexpected frustration. I must say, it was good. It redirected my focus from the problem to how I could bless those around me at the time. This is new for me. . . .

Saturday prayer walks reminded me of the amazing mission field we encounter as soon as we step outside our front door. I plan to be with the group that walks and prays over Kapiolani Hospital. I confess, I am a little nervous. Am I really planning to walk into a hospital and expect things to change for the people there? Uhh. Yeah. I am . :-)

Saturday night we had an impromptu prayer session. There were only 5 of us, but it confirmed to me that "where 2 or 3 are gathered . . . " God showed up in a mighty way. I would encourage you to get together and pray over one another. God seems very anxious to douse His people. And invite me! :-) I love to watch what God is doing.

Sunday was just an amazing time of worship and encountering God. I don't know how else to explain it. I look back on it and think, "Now, this is what the body of Christ is supposed to look like!"

And the stories continue . . .

Rees Howells: Intercession

Thanks Jeannie for the great teaching on Intercession!

I've found me in more and more a position of Intercessor and sometimes I thought I was going crazy, praying so much for a person or a situation, even when others were telling me I was silly, or that I should stop. A couple of times I even questioned God, and each time He answered strongly...through signs and wonders that I was doing His will.

Well, this past Prayer Retreat really helped me understand what God has birthed and burdened me with...intercession. So I need to get the book, Rees Howells; Intercessor, by Norman Grubb

I've found a great synopsis on Rees Howells' understanding on Intercession and you can click on the title of this blog entry to go straight there. Included is the following information:

Intercession

Principles of intercession by Rees Howells. Identification.
As the crucifixion of self proceeds, intercession begins.
The Holy Spirit can take the intercessor into extremes to fulfil the intercession like Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Hosea, who are some of the great intercessors of the Bible.
Agony in intercession. "if it dies, it brings forth much fruit" -Jesus.
Authority. The intercessor finds a place of prevailing prayer with God.
The gained position of intercession can be used in other prayer situations.
Entering the "grace of faith". The measureless realms of God's grace are open for the intercessor to prevail upon.




More teaching from Rees Howell's College about intercession
Intercession for many is a word that is hard to understand. But there are some basics:

God gives you a prayer that you are responsible to pray through.
When the Lord shows you the prayer, you are committed to it whatever the cost is and for how ever long it takes.
Intercession is completely voluntary. You are never forced into prayer. The intercessor needs to be willing to enter into a new place of intercession.
The intercessors love God so much that they want to obey. They will pay the price because of their love for the Saviour.
The intercessors will discover wave upon wave of evil as they prevail upon God to see the spiritual systems that have held millions of people in bondage for centuries broken.
There is death involved in intercession. But the focus is never just death. The Spirit of God is gaining ground all the time. You will gain tremendous power over the enemy.
Intercession in many ways is hidden. The world does not see the prayer until it is completed. Jesus, The Intercessor, was misunderstood in His intercession. Not until after the resurrection did the disciples begin to understand why He came. Only after His ascension did they begin to understand His work as the, great High Priest, who entered into death to destroy it.

Wholesome Water

I was reading in I Kings this morning. The lives of Elijah and Elisha were filled with miracles and any miracle is awe and faith inspiring, but this morning the following story caught my attention.

"The men of the city said to Elisha, 'Look, our lord, this town is well situated, as you can see, but the water is bad and the land is unproductive.'
'Bring me a new bowl,' he said, 'and put salt in it.' So they brought it to him. Then he went out to the spring and threw the salt into it, saying, 'This is what the LORD says: I have healed this water. Never again will it cause death or make the land unproductive.' And the water has remained wholesome to this day, according the the word Elisha had spoken."


There is something about that last line that stirs my heart. An entire community was effected by this bad water. It caused death and made their land unproductive. From the day Elisha threw salt and blessed it, it brought life. Not just to the people who lived in that area at the time, but for future generations as well. Oh, how I long to see God heal in ways that effect generations.

What are some of the things around us that bring death and stop productivity? Is it to much to ask God to allow us to bless those things so that they change and begin to cause life and productivity - cause them to become "wholesome water?" I would encourage you to wrestle with God a bit about this. Are there people or places that He is ready to bless through us? How?

I would love to hear your thoughts. For those of you no longer in Hawaii, please participate anyway. :-) I believe your input is valuable as well.