I believe, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that God does not care about my happiness, as much as, He does care about my obedience. I also believe that I am drawing closer to God and that along with the intimacy I am discovering this all comes at a great cost to my “happiness.”
I'd be happy being successful in business, get my law degree, have a wife, have children, be looked up to in my work and in the eyes of the public.
I'd be happy with an easy life, going to nice clubs, drive a nice, expensive car, match all the things I see in the media and what all the marketing pushes on us all. Be a worldly successful man... huh.
Now, I know the world's version of happiness in not what I REALLY want...
A favorite Scripture of mine, and one that was spoken over me a couple of years ago, Jeremiah 20:9, But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
I really identify with this. Now that I am so committed to Him, it is so true. I can't stop doing His work. It overwhelms me, even at the cost of my own happiness. I am going through this refining process. Giving up my worldly desires, and dying to my flesh, and it is not easy...than again, things really worthwhile are usually not easy.
This is where I am and I could not imagine any other choice than to say, what Mary said, when the Angel of the Lord came to her in Luke 1:38, “I am the Lord's servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”
What am I talking about? Well, I have been asked by God to give over and surrender many desires, passions, and dreams to him.
I recently read, Rees Howells: Intercessor, by Norman Grubb, and I identify so much with the sacrifices Rees made and what I believe God is asking of me now. His want of my obedience is difficult and painful. Yet, I know the price is worth surrendering everything to be close to the LORD.
Recently, someone prophetically told that I am to “move with the rhythm of His heart beat.” In meditating on this I came to realize that to hear His heart beat and to move in that rhythm, I am needing to be very close and intimate with God to pick the rhythm up... and it comes with a cost. Luke 12:48b says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
My life is about obedience and through my obedience I will be at peace and even be filled with a deep sense of true joy, as James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds...” and so much is written in the Word regarding obedience... this is an interesting life I am having. Please pray for me.
3 comments:
Wow, you know, I don't think you could've chosen a more appropriate topic
for the season that God is taking me through right now (as well)... I'm sure
God probably had you write that exactly for me and the season that I'm going
through...haha! wow...
Thank you!
Keiger,
I am always amazed and moved by the depth of your convictions and the power and honesty of your discussions. Because you constantly raise the banner of Godliness and community for fellow believers to rally around, I honestly believe that God does care about your happiness. Yes, your happiness Keiger. It comes across in everything you write. There is a song that says that "we were meant to live for so much more". Yes, we can all do more to further the gospel, but don't get down on yourself. Know that God loves and cares about you. I firmly believe that when we fall God wants us to learn from it, pick ourselves up, and go on! (or “Press On” as the saying goes) If you see a fellow believer/worker stagger and fall, remind them that they matter to God and to you, and help them get back on track. You matter to me Keiger. Don't forget that God cares about you. There is a song that Hezekiah Walker sings called "I need you to survive". In it he reminds us that every believer is important to each other, and that we need each other to survive. We are to pray for each other, join together and support each other. I miss being able to visit with you in person, but know that you are on my mind and in my heart, and I consider myself a better man for knowing you.
GBYRG (God bless you real good),
--Walt Smith
LT, U.S. Navy
Patrol Squadron Sixteen (VP-16)
I think your obedience to his word and listening closely tp his voice will result in true happiness for you....remember- "No eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has prepared for those who love him." I think your love for God is very evident in your desire to make him happy and have a close relationship with him...
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