St. John of the Cross wrote of "The Dark Night of the Soul" and even Mother Teresa of Calcutta spent many years in "the darkness" and "painful night" of her soul...these powerhouses for God passed through a crisis of faith...
I've experienced dark nights too, and I have found many of my Faith Brothers and Sisters have or are facing such difficult times too. From my own experiences, I don't fear them, or even believe I will lose my faith in God. Sure, I have FELT I was losing my faith, but I never believed what I was feeling. Somehow, in the very depths of who I am and because of what I have seen and experienced I know God is good and He is for me and not against me.
I've had to press through and pray through these times...and I am reminded of CS Lewis' demonic character's remarks in The Screwtape Letters (#8):
He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
In an odd way, these painful times have strengthened my faith, that even when I don't see or feel God.... I know He is with me. It's almost like a storm, it will pass eventually, perhaps with damage, but it will pass and it will be time to rebuild and renew my strength.
Some things I am learning:
1) Journal the God stuff...answered prayers, miracles, provision from Heaven, prophecies, truths discovered.
2) Re-read what I've written.
3) Seek out books and people with testimonies of faith.
4) Plenty of knee time and worship time...
So, this is an unfinished post because I want US to dialogue through together....
Talk to me, what's on your mind?
3 comments:
I agree, I have come to expect dark nights of the soul and, while I may whine my way through them :-), I have had enough of them to have assurance that they will end and that dawn will come, eventually, with a joy and hope beyond what I started with.
I journal my prayers periodically. Even my whiny prayers help to remind me that much of life is a cycle and I can usually see that I have at least moved up the cycle. Worship is also huge for me, as it shifts my mindset.
Good stuff.
wow, august of 2010 huh? definitely one of my darkest nights of the soul, losing my dad. but though the why's still ring loudly through my head and "all trace of Him seem(ed) to have disappeared" still though i stumble i seek to obey and to follow Him. worship and prayerful dialogue (ok sometimes prayerful fighting) are definitely key. i know He is for me. love ya
November and December tend to be my darkest times (yet other times come to mind), and even this year was hard...yet not with the usual depression and patterns of dark thought and disbelief (YEA!)... I am winning this battle, and it is our prayerful and loving community and to a significant degree, my own perseverance to strengthen myself in the LORD that is making a huge difference...mostly, I am believing God is good and He is for me and not against me. I am also holding fast to on choosing NOT to allowing my emotions to dictate how I will feel. Rather I am choosing to feel the emotions I choose to feel....
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