There's something leaden clanging in my brain. It's the restless thought that church is becoming a competition for do-gooders, which is great because I doubt there's anything better to compete for than goodness.
But I'm that out-of-shape, out-of-breath loser in last place. I'm not good enough - I'm too selfish and stingy, too lazy and disillusioned.
Even worse, there are times when I catch myself yearning to be recognized as someone who does good. I'd be surprised if that doesn't make me bad.
Are our intentions as important as our actions? The world pays no attention to intention, but God sees everything. He sees that I'm a phony.
He watched me seek improvement so that I could blend in with all the other good-looking people. He saw that my fancy heart was hollow.
But by his grace, he simply told me to cut the crap. Fitting in means not standing out. Didn't he create his children to be outstanding?
God, I just want to love you. And I want to love you while being me.
This shouldn't feel like a conflict of interests. If I was created in your image, then it must not only be possible, but it must be essential.
I believe I am inherently good because you are inherently good.
Uncover me, discover me, recover me. Please. Let me be radical - true and naked in following you. When I give, let it be for the sake of giving to you. And when I live, let it be for the sake of living for you.
Even the most brilliant philosophers knew better than to define "good." They knew that it's something we cannot express in its entirety.
Only our Father has the authority to define goodness.
So I rebuke the societal pressure that tries to change us into something we're not. I rebuke the envy, the comparison, the judgment. For goodness sake, let those evils be replaced with admiration, inspiration, and a fat dose of Spiritual medication. Sure, we are a body, but we have different functions, and we work toward being good in different ways. And if we ask him, God will help us all to be good in his eyes, for he is the God of sinners and losers.
"I am convinced that Jesus came not simply to make bad people good but to bring dead people to life. We can be moral but not alive; a lot of conservatives and liberals have taught me that, and I myself have been a victim of the Pharisaic yeast infection. There are many people who are morally "pure" but devoid of any life, joy, or celebration. For some, "purity" means that we do not touch anything that is "secular," and for others, it means that we don't eat anything that is not "organic." But if it is not born of relationships, if it is not liberating for the oppressed and the oppressors, if it is not marked by raw, passionate love, then it is the same old self-righteousness that does little more than flaunt our own purity by making the rest of the world see how dirty they are. No matter where it pops up, this yeast hinders us from seeing God's image in every human being... NO ONE IS BEYOND REDEMPTION."
"The fact that the Scriptures are brim full of hustlers, murderers, cowards, adulterers, and mercenaries used to shock me. Now it is a source of great comfort."
- Bono
Jesus said to them,
"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
I have come not to call the righteous, but sinners."
- Mark 2:17
*** <3
5 comments:
first of all, your 'leave your commnet' message is funny. I laughed out loud. Second of all, I love you. I love your honesty. Theres this story I heard while on DTS that touched me and I thought of it after I read this. Here it is: (kinda long) There was a chicken coup with hundreds of chickens. The eggs were laid and ready to hatch. As a mama chicken looked onto her nest watching excitedly for her chicks to poke their little heads out, she noticed that there was something strange about one of the eggs. As it cracked and the little one began to crawl out, mama chicken stood in awe. This doesn't belong here. What stood in front of her was not a chick, but a baby eagle. None the less, the baby eagle grew up with the rest of the chicks. It grew accustomed to the ways the chickens do things and eventually began acting like a chicken, not knowing any other way. Then one day as he was pecking at the ground with the rest and looked up. What he saw caught his attention. Way above against the blue of the sky soared a eagle. He stared, knowing that their was something familar about the creature. Running to a pond, he stared at his reflection. Somethings not right. And as he stood there glancing up at the sky and then at himself, he realized that he belonged with that creature. He didn't know why, but something inside of him was calling to it. Recognizing the plea of his soul, he ran to mama chicken and told her he wanted to be up there with the creature. She saw the urgency in his eyes and though she loved him very much, she knew he did not belong in the chicken coup, pecking at the ground, but up in the sky with his own. So she told him to go and fly. So he spread his wings and flapped them. It was akward and he didn't know if he was doing it right, but try after try he saw improvement. Then after many attempts, finally, his flapping wings lifted his feet off the ground and took him up to where the eagle was. He knew then that this is where he belonged and there was freedom and joy. I know cheesy. :) But I liked it.
I love you, your heart is good so don't worry, you'll figure it out. See you Tomarrow fellow batcaver!
struggling as you are, sistah...
i just guess none of us can be absolutely rightous but it's really a great thing to notice what a real Christian should be like and how far away I am from that real christian value.
So then I double check the reason I am passionatefor that justice issue, and pour out all the trash in my blog and got a conclusion: I am selfish, all waht I was trying to do is for a good reputation.
If I want to address this justice issue, I have to be absolutely free,which is harder than anything!
Then if I want to invite people to join this abolutionlist, I have to be simply be strong and rightous!
It's challenging! But I guess I am still selfish and still phony, but God knows our heart and struggling.
When I am reading this post, I suddenly undertand that not only me is struggling with this, probably all fancy looking people are struggling...
None of us are perfect, that's why He put us together as a body to work things straight.
Thank you Kacie@
none of us are perfect, but hopefully God puts us together for a perfect will.
Let us be radical - true and naked in following Him.
:)
Isn't it funny that we get caught between definitions. We strive to be like Jesus. We walk toward perfection. But whose definition of perfection are we seeking? I don't think Jesus fit the view of perfection that many of us are taught to strive for. Weird.
I am so glad that we are part of a community that values openness, authenticity, and grace. They make it safe for us to stumble along. I would agree with Liu Liu, I think most of us have very similar battles with a few details changed here and there. :-)
Let's keep stumbling forward together. . .
hi everyone. hope i don't intrude, but i join with you all, fellow strugglers. but i'd like to encourage all of us :)
"cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I Pet 5:7
"..He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6
Jesus in whom we put our trust as our Savior from our sins will carry us through until we are safe in heaven. Lets simply cry out to Him in prayer, every problem and struggle and question and difficulty. He will surely listen and help us and give us strength to move on in the fight of faith, in the race. Let us simply continue to depend on Him everyday. We are indeed blessed to have our fellow brothers and sisters in encouraging each other, but all the more we are blessed because we have our Savior and Teacher and Shepherd and Best Friend Jesus and His Word. Have a nice day! :)
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